Archie the Royal Hot Water Bottle Read online

  Chapter 2

  The following days were bliss for Archie and Terri. They spent the time alone, carefully stored by the seamstress in a fragrant lavender lined drawer, undisturbed. Archie felt as though he were floating in a Chagall painting against a moonlit sky with Terri in his arms.

  Not once were they intruded upon as they explored their new love and each other. Time passed, their happiness grew and Archie, new as he was to this unexpected state of togetherness, was nevertheless sure Terri was the one for him. She made him laugh and moved him to a tenderness he didn't think possible. Trust created their bond. Terri was not a sentimental soul as she'd demonstrated on their first meeting, but Archie asked her why she had been so short with his hopes during their journey in the basket.

  Terri lapsed into an uncharacteristic silence and with some embarrassment told Archie,

  'I've always been sensitive about my looks, stripes aren't for everyone and when I was in the remnant bin the Liberty prints and girly things gave me a hard time. There was a taffeta piece that was very snarly. She sniped at me. It worked on my confidence so that when I saw you I daren't hope ....' Archie pulled her even closer to him and kissed her soft neck,

  'Silly little thing.'

  The life of a hot water bottle may be one of service but Archie entered into it with a glad heart, joyful in the knowledge Terri would be with him.

  As so the days of their honeymoon wore on until at last it was over. The drawer opened and the seamstress lifted them out. Archie and Terri heard her say,

  'Take this to the small sitting room and leave it on the side table. And Jade, arrange it nicely.'

  'Yeah, all right.'

  'Jade, it's yes madam.'

  The metal in the girl's ears rattled as she tensed every muscle in her face. 'This bitch,' she thought 'is driving me crazy. I'll give her yes madam!' She turned to the seamstress and opened her mouth but shut it just as quickly. She saw a face and attitude that was not to be trifled with, one she suspected that could deal with her in no uncertain terms.

  Jade remembered that look; her juvenile counsellor at school had it. Every time Jade had told her lie or sworn at her, and it had been often, the counsellor would slightly tilt her head and look over the top of her glasses, holding Jade's gaze until it fell and she reformed her thoughts and shut up. No sense in lying to someone who sees right through you or swearing at someone who has the skin of a rhino.

  The seamstress was just the same.

  Jade collected herself,

  'Yes madam,' she said and went out with Archie and Terri. As the door closed behind her Jade couldn't hold it in any longer,

  'Bitch, bitch, bitch, blooooody bitch!'

  She felt better then and delivered Archie and Terri to the sitting room without further complaint. After all, today was liberation day for her. Soon there'd be no more waiting on the old girl, she'd be off.

  As they entered the room they heard a familiar voice.

  'Ah, Jade, thank you, leave it on the bureau. You may go.'

  Archie and Terri recognised their purchaser immediately. She was in a better mood today and taking tea by the sound of it as cups clinked on saucers. Archie thought he could smell delicious hot crumpets and honey.

  'Well my dear you're off on your travels; so exciting for you.'

  'Yes grandmother,' a girl's voice said, 'I'm looking forward to it.'

  'I bet.' This voice was new to Archie and Terri, a man, older, the voice short and a bit gruff. 'Nothing more than an excuse to drink and whore about.'

  'Really, dear...'

  'Well it is, isn't it? They go off these gap years,' said in derisive tones 'and spend months travelling to parts of the world they can't recognise or remember later on because they spend all their time in pubs and nightclubs writing themselves off and then sleeping the day away with people they don't know.'

  'I hope so,' thought the girl. Her hopes were quickly dashed by her grandmother,

  'Well...There are arrangements to be made. We'd better discuss those, security and so forth.'

  'Oh God,' thought the girl, 'But I'll get something I want.'

  Archie and Terri were unwilling but nevertheless fascinated eavesdroppers in the next hour. The girl and her grandparents were at loggerheads over the arrangements for her gap year, that much was clear. What was not clear was who would win the tussle.

  Archie for one could feel the tension in the room and the frustration growing in the girl's grandmother. Obviously she was not accustomed to being denied, let alone argued with. The girl however made no concessions to the status quo, her grandmother's reason or her grandfather's anger. That was increasing by the minute and threatening to bring on a stroke. Archie could, with difficulty, see his face if he craned his neck and looked around the edge of a very large ormolu clock.

  As he watched the grandfather went from puce to purple and back again. His voice rose to a shout when he said,

  'Listen to me little girl, you can do as we say or you can stay at home.'

  Silence descended. Terri poked Archie in the ribs and whispered to him,

  'That's shut her up.'

  Archie nodded and waited for the girl's response which came in a more conciliatory tone and was addressed to her grandmother,

  'Gran, please. It's my only chance to be myself, to be out in the world like other people.'

  It was her grandfather who responded,

  'Like drunks and sluts you mean.'

  The grandmother clasped her hands tightly in her lap and pursed her lips. Ignoring her husband's blunt assessment of the public at large, she nevertheless didn't like anything about the girl's demand. Yes, it was a demand and it seemed she was implacable. To give in on this one point would ensure she accepted the security and constraints that she wished to impose on what was otherwise a young person's freedom.

  She was surprised that it had come down to this and felt inadequate to make a decision straight away. If she did it would be to say no and her otherwise beloved granddaughter would be out of sorts with her and do who knows what. If she said yes her husband would have apoplexy.

  The girl's demand was unusual, unexpected and to her mind, quite undesirable. As she had done with prime ministers and presidents, she played the diplomatic card, always best wrapped in a veneer of truth,

  'You've surprised us dear. I had no idea you were thinking along those lines. There are a number of things to be considered and I will have to consult the Master of the Household.'

  Looking at her watch she said, 'I suggest we speak again tomorrow. I have to attend to something else now. Tomorrow we can discuss it more fully.'

  She stood up. The tea was over. The girl also rose, realising she could argue no further.

  'Thank you grandmother, grandfather. Until tomorrow then.' She kissed both of them goodbye and took her leave.

  'Would you ring the bell dear?' her husband said, 'I think we need a whisky and soda.'

  'I agree.' She rang the bell and sat down. To her husband's annoyance it was Jade who answered the bell.

  'Yes Ma'am.'

  'Oh...Jade...a tray of drinks, whisky and soda please.' As the girl went to clear the tea things, the grandmother held up a hand, 'Send Jennings in to collect those, just bring the drinks.'

  Jade left and began to smile as she went out the door,

  'So she gave them the news then. Good on her. We'll see what's what now.'

  At the tea table a worried wife said to her fuming husband,

  'She wants to take her with her for the gap year? Jade? Why? How do they even know each other?'

  'Like attracts like my love,' her husband said in a calmer voice. 'My question is, how do we say no?'

  'I don't know.'

  'What a piece of work that little strumpet is.'

  Archie and Terri, forgotten by everyone on the side cabinet, looked at each other as a deep voice boomed out this less than flattering assessment of the just departed Jade. It wasn't until the clock began to stamp one of its feet that
they realised it had spoken and continued in same vein,

  'I've heard a lot of things in this room, but that ... where on earth do those two get the gall?'

  Terri tapped the clock gently on the back and it turned, looking at her with angry blue enamel eyes,

  'I said, where do they get the gall? That Jade is very lucky to be here and all she does is scheme, complain and abuse the trust given to her. Imagine, she thinks she can accompany the princess on her gap year! What presumption! And, did you see that smirk as she left?'

  'Do you know how they know each other?'

  The clock sighed,

  'Yes I do; I hear the maids when they dust. The whole downstairs knows, the only one who doesn't is Her Majesty. Poor thing, if she knew she'd be even more worried than she is.'

  'What's happened?' Terri asked.

  'The granddaughter, Crystal, what a preposterous name for a royal, well she met Jade at a reception. Jade was serving and tipped a drink over Crystal. The maids suspect on purpose, just so she could get close to her.

  'When they went out to clean up the mess and it was a mess, the dress was feathers or something, Crystal was upset so Jade offered her a smoke to calm her nerves. The smoke was weed and Crystal enjoyed it. She's developed quite a taste for it since and Jade gets it for her, making a tidy living into the bargain. The princess can't get it herself because of the security detail. They know about the young ones drinking and trying drugs and past experience has taught them to keep her on a short leash. Jade can give it to her because they meet here in the private wing without Crystal's security officer.'

  'But how does Jade get away with it?' Terri was riveted by this conversation.

  'Her Majesty, bless her, is committed to helping the underprivileged. She does it quietly. Jade ticked all the boxes on that score - a poor home, dysfunctional family, little education, juvenile offences. She had it all. Her Majesty offers a number of places a year to help them out. Jade hasn't been here long but Her Majesty has taken an interest in her and uses her as a personal page. As a result no-one's been willing to tell her.'

  'But ... if she's pushing drugs shouldn't she know?' Archie wasn't sure of his ground here but felt it should be said.

  The clock said,

  'Yes, but who's going to do it?'

  The three of them were startled to hear Crystal's grandfather say in a raised voice,

  'Tell her no. Just say no. They're up to no good, I can tell.'

  The clock looked at Archie and Terri,

  'I think he knows.'

  'But dear, if we do that she'll just go anyway. She has some money ...'

  'Thanks to that good for nothing ...'

  'Don't speak ill of the dead dear. Everything we do and say comes back you know.'

  By this time Her Majesty's husband was ready to explode. Archie could see the veins in his temples bulging and a white knuckled fist clenching the arm of his chair,

  'It is not the time go all Zen on me Victoria. Crystal is a young girl ready for anything. She has no idea of what's right or wrong. Sending her away with that creature is, forgive me, stupid!

  'I think we'd better leave it for today. We're too upset to discuss it any further.'

  'All right, but put her off. Don't do anything hasty.'

  'I won't. I think I'll have a talk to Constance. She's always helpful with staff matters.'

  'Good, but don't give in, we'll regret it.'

  'Perhaps,' she thought, 'But it might not necessarily follow.'

  She'd talk to Constance. Her seamstress was her confidante and friend and certainly not prone to emotional explosions as her husband was. In the morning she would send for her; it would be so comforting to have her advice.

  Archie and Terri spent a chaste night with the clock.